Five Lessons to Help You Enjoy A Lasting Marriage
Stan Ponz2019-06-10T20:29:26+00:00
My wife Carol and I will have been married for 50 years on June 7 – and we’re still best friends.
We loved each other before we got married at just 19 and 21 when we were college students. But even after all of these years, we still like each other. In fact, we’re closer than ever.
Carol and I recently reflected on the lessons we’ve learned along the way that have kept our marriage alive and helped it thrive. These lessons have carried us through both good and tough seasons, and we want to share them with you, with the hope that they can do the same for you and your spouse.
So, from our family to yours, here are five lessons we learned that will help you enjoy a lasting marriage:
- Be able to laugh. Laughter helps smooth over a lot of rough edges. I cannot tell you how many times it has de-escalated arguments in our marriage that otherwise would have led us to say hurtful things we’d surely later regret. Laughter cools down our hot tempers and helps us see each other again. From there we can proceed with kindness and love.
- Embrace change and adversity together. When you first get married, you’re so fired up about your exciting new life together. But the reality is that through the stages and seasons of life, every marriage changes and every marriage has its challenges. It’s when you join forces to overcome problems that your marriage gets stronger. Whether it’s personal, emotional, physical, or spiritual adversity – face it together.
- Focus on what you have in common. There will be things that both you and your spouse don’t naturally gravitate to, and that’s fine. Focus on the things you both like to do, so you can experience joy and happiness in doing them together. And if there’s something your spouse is passionate about, become her (or his) biggest champion — you’ll quickly find their passion becoming yours as well.
- Express your appreciation. So many marriages die by a thousand nicks and cuts – a little criticism here, a backhanded comment there. If there’s one thing most marriages need, it’s a greater dose of expressed respect and appreciation. When you express gratitude to each other, you not only make your spouse feel valued, seen and appreciated but you also reinvigorate your desire to continue loving and serving him or her.
- Put Jesus first and your spouse second. Of course, this might at first sound counter-intuitive, but prioritizing Him doesn’t lessen your love for your spouse. In fact, it’s the opposite. You’ll have more to offer your spouse when your relationship with Christ is strong. This means spending time in the Word of God and prayer individually and together. A commitment I made to the Lord on our honeymoon was to read through the Bible each year of our marriage. Let Him and His Word be the foundation that holds your marriage together. … it won’t fail!
These lessons have carried our marriage for 50 years, and I believe they will carry it for many more. Put them into practice and watch your marriage become better and stronger than ever!
Author
Stan Ponz
Dr. Stan Ponz serves as President of Florida Bible College in Orlando, Florida and is married to his high school sweetheart Carol, who led him to the Lord in 1966. They live in north east of Orlando.
Stan graduated from Florida Bible College in 1972, where as a student he served as an officer in student government, participated in outreach events and youth ministry development. He also served on its faculty and as Dean of Men until 1979 when he earned a Doctor of Ministry degree from Luther Rice Seminary.
As a ministry leader, Stan is founder and president of Make It Clear Ministries (a national ministry that began in 1973 to help churches increase membership involvement while decreasing conflict), serves on the board of directors of Special Forces Ministries (a ministry to the San Antonio Police Officers), and is vice-president of Christian Impact Ministries - - Uniquely You Ministries (a national ministry providing seminars, leadership training, and resources in the faith based and business/professional community). He has co-authored with Dr. Mels Carbonell many of the Uniquely You resource materials used in church health development.
As a minister since 1983, Stan has pastored three churches; a church plant in a suburban city in South Texas, strengthened a large church in rural upstate New York, and a historic church in a busy southern California city. While serving as lead pastor of International, he mentors pastors and Christian leaders across the country. He knows the heart of people and shepherding in different environments as a Bible expositor.
As an educator, Stan founded a ministry training institute and a certified Bible College. He also does consulting for various Christian ministries in the area of conflict resolution and ministry leadership development. He has served in administration and on the faculty of four Bible Colleges, three of which were the former Florida Bible College, Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, IL and Word of Life Bible Institute in Scroon Lake, NY and has served on the Board of Advisors for one of America’s leading seminaries in southern California. Stan currently is guest faculty in Bible Colleges and Seminaries worldwide.
As a writer, he has written numerous study manuals on theology, books of the Bible, as well as pamphlets on evangelism and discipleship including men’s ministry resources for Promise Keepers. He has also participated on the speaking teams for Promise Keepers Men’s Ministry Conferences and was on its writing team that produced Seminar Workbooks used in two training seminars to equip pastors and church leaders in getting more men effectively involved in men’s ministries.
As a speaker, his energetic and solid Bible teaching makes him a sought after speaker at numerous Bible Conferences, Child Evangelism Fellowship, AWANA, Men’s Conferences, and Leadership Retreats around the world. In addition he has conducted training for many business and professional people in the areas of staff development, team building, vision-casting, conflict resolution, wellness, and at various marriage and family, and youth events. Both Stan and Carol are often invited to speak at marriage and family conferences.
Stan is currently heard on WTLN radio Monday through Friday in Orlando Florida and on the Internet 24/7; and participates as a guest on numerous radio and television programs nationwide.
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